All the bottled up goodness from life, love, and of course, pool
Unfortunately, you can't buy jam here. You can come here when you're in a jam, though.
What Will Sour Grape Preserves Be?
SGP will be a place for every kind of creativity as I take what the world gives me and make it yummy. Thoughts on thoughts, art, short stories, poems, and more! Follow on your Social Media of choice to keep up to date!
What's in a Name
The Short Version
Basically when life hands you lemons, you make lemonade, but when life hands you sour grapes, what do you do? I don't mean when you're a sore loser have a better attitude. I mean when you have lost and no one allows you to talk about it, don't bottle it up. At least not until you've made sure it doesn't turn to poison.
The Long Version (if you're really interested)
Most of us "know" that sour grapes is whining about losing. That is a far cry, however, from what it has meant since 500 B.C. and it seems no one got the memo. The term sour grapes was coined after the parable "The Fox and the Grapes" from Aesop's Fables, a foundational piece of literature that gives morals in short story form. In the parable, a fox sees some grapes he'd like and spends a good amount of time trying to get them. When he fails, he gives up, saying that the grapes must have been sour. If they were sour, then that's obviously why he didn't achieve his goal: because he didn't really want it.
This effort to lie as a comfort in the face of failure, this is what the term "Sour Grapes" was in reference to, and has remained in our lexicon for 2500+ years for good reason. We need to understand motivation to recognize lie from truth, and this story is a good example of why. If the fox is lying, then other people can try to go for the probably sweet grapes. It's not a complete lesson, however, as a successful fox might just as well lie to protect his meal, or if the fox had reached the grapes, maybe he was warning others. The reality is in most situations, we just don't know what the truth is or what the motivations are. This is probably what led to the slide on the definition of sour grapes.
What the modern world has come to include in this term of disregard for losing voices is bitterness, frustration, grief, passion, and just about every sentiment that occurs in a loss like situation. Instead of the unattainable task of discerning lies, we cast aside absolutely everything said by the non-victorious. This effectively silences everyone but the "winners", leaving no room to discuss what happened. So what if the "victorious" cheated? Or what if they are a thief? An abuser? What if they are the ones lying? We have lost sight of the reason for questioning these voices and there are moral consequences for that.
Even if there is no "victorious" party, there is still a great loss in discarding one's pain and their voice in this pain. Some of the most valuable lessons life has to offer are during hardship, and forcing people to "move on" and "be positive" can be horrific for some people in the long run. Not to mention the loss of insight we incur when we do this. Times of grief are especially difficult to experience, and most report being told by loved ones to "get over it already." Loss of that nature can stick with a person for life, often changing the person to the core. There is so much to learn (and to love) about people in pain and the misunderstood sour grapes seemed to be a good place to start the discussion.
I fixated on the term when I felt my own voice go unheard in a difficult situation. When I heard the sentiment of moving on when nothing had been resolved, it puzzled me as to why so many would offer this advice. Was it for my health or their comfort? How can you take a step forward when you don't know where you've been? You could be moving backwards for all you know. I was tired of being shut up or told these thoughts were worthless. I saw value in them and knew I wasn't just "overreacting". The only worthless thing was how society reacts to the unpleasant.
The world will judge you, but you don't have to judge yourself. Take refuge here to explore the difficult things you've been through and make friends with what you feel inside.
It is my understanding that emotions are like food, we can't go long without them. Yes, you have to watch what you eat, but if you only eat the yummy stuff, there will be consequences. We also are asked sometimes to set certain ones aside or bottle them up completely. Many things in this category are maybe unpleasant to some, but generally have much to offer via nutrition. Also, much like food, each emotion has a different shelf life.How we deal with it can either extend this shelf life, or turn it to poison.
This website is a place to sweeten the emotions the world deems "sour grapes." Before you toss them in a jar as the world demands, prepare them to be nourishing. They are a part of you and will never disappear entirely, so it's best to not let them rot you from the inside.
In other words, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you "Sour Grapes".... make jelly.
Life, Love, and ...Pool?
Pool has been a part of my life for over a decade. It has formed such a deep and intense part of my identity, has guided me through some of the most difficult times in my life, and has given me many insights into the world as we know it. I find many of the experiences I've had through pool correlate to what people may be looking for here and it is a natural vehicle for moral stories. It serves merely as inspiration for stories and art, but is not detachable from my inner workings at this point.
If you scroll into the archives of the "Short Stories" section, you can see articles from my previous life as a semi-pro pool player.